You’ve had close encounters of every kind – the seductive bad boy; the immature man-child; the crazy alpha; the serial dater etc. Sometimes the best is saved for last: So how do you tell if the guy you’re currently seeing is for keeps? Our Staff Blogger Naina Hiranandani spills the red alerts to watch out for.
He’s emotionally available and reliable.
Life is not all always about drunken parties, exotic holidays and hot sex. Maybe you’ve had a really horrible phase at work or you’re dealing with the loss of someone close to you. Is he there for you and genuinely listening? Or is his attention span is shorter than the time it takes for a Snapchat to disappear? Can you count on him – like when he says going to help you plan your mother’s birthday surprise because he knows how important it is to you? If he’s got your back and his actions match his words – hang on tight; he’s worth his weight in gold.
He’s responsible and has real goals
Does the thought of being with the disturbed ‘artist’ type (who’s struggling to pay the rent and doesn’t buy groceries for weeks) still turn you on? Then well, congratulations on your new role as the shoulder for self-deprecation and daily sob stories. Pretty soon you’ll find yourself frustrated enough to lean on someone else. A man who’s still slowly climbing the ladder to emotional maturity and financial security is not worth your time if you’re looking for something long-term.
He knows YOU.
The real kind of love – that overwhelming love that you feel everyday in very ordinary circumstances (not only when he buys you a Tiffany bracelet) – sustains when you embrace each other wholly. He indulges you on certain days, comforts you even when you’re being downright irrational and even has a sixth sense about when you’re going to lose your temper. He loves your brand of crazy, just like you’ve accepted his habits and quirks. You totally get each other. It’s rare in relationships, so you may just have a winner.
When ‘I’ turns into ‘We’
Do weekend plans mean you’re doing things that only he likes to do? Have you become the person who cancelled martini night with your childhood friends to watch a football match with him? Any relationship has to be two-sided with similar amounts of effort. It doesn’t mean you have to give up on your own identity, just learn to balance it out without sacrificing what you love. Do his sentences begin with “we” (because that’s a positive sign) or does he only keep himself on top priority? Clue each other in on the decisions you make; you never know when they may become long-term plans.
Welcome to his inner circle
You’ve said your hellos to his immediate family, been his date to family dos and frequently make conversation with his work buddies. If he secretly brags about you to his closest friends, it’s obvious he’s proud of the love in his life. Do you complement each other’s personalities? Do you share the same values? This is something you can strongly assess after you’ve spent considerable time not just with him, but the ones who are close to him. If you’re glad to be on the same team, then you’re in the right direction.
